You Want the Truth? You Can't Handle the Truth!

Or maybe you can.

*ahem*

Lame reference aside, I shall shed some light on the seven ludicrous statements I made in my previous post.

• Statement 1: I taught myself guitar by reading a 'Teach Yourself Guitar' book.

I'm sorry, Feathers, but this one's a lie. I tried to do it, but I gave up for a while before I took lessons. On the other hand, this is now pretty much what I do with other instruments (I've taught myself some piano, among others), which is quite a lot easier now that I have some form of musical knowledge. I'm sure you can do it :D.

• Statement 2: In Year 8, I got 2 and a half weeks of lunchtime detention for not being able to draw a human face.

Contrary to Bruce's guess, this is completely true. My Year 8 Art teacher was evil - at least, to the people of lesser aesthetic ability (and more so if the student possesses a Y chromosome). Don't get me wrong, I swear I tried my best; apparently that's just not good enough for her. I didn't have it the worst, though: two poor kids got FOUR WEEKS of lunchtime detention for the same reason. O_O

• Statement 3: My reason behind making a Sparklife account was so I could take the Sparktests.

Absolutely true (The Personality Test and The Death Test in particular).

• Statement 4: 1984 by George Orwell was what led me to Sparknotes in the first place.

No, Bruce, this one's a lie. It was, in fact, Animal Farm that led me to the site where notes sparkle.

• Statement 5: I was actually born in the US of A, making me a legal American.

Another incorrect guess from Bruce. On the 21st of November, 1994, on a cold winter afternoon (apparently) in Columbus, Ohio, a little baby who would turn out to be yours truly was born. Apparently, that was enough to grant me an American citizenship.

• Statement 6: I have, on a couple of occasions, sleepwalked to my TV and switched it on. On all said occasions, my parents believed I was doing that consciously and minded their own businesses.

Total lie; I just wrote this because I couldn't think of anything else.

• Statement 7: I own a pink flying elephant in my basement.

This one was a suggestion for a dear friend of mine, who I turned to for help when I ran out of things to say. Therefore, no, Feathers and Grudz, it has no grain of truth in it.

And there we go. The truth is out.

Thou art my life noweth.